If you think about it, business travel is one of the most inefficient, unenjoyable and expensive
pastimes imaginable.
Off the top of my head I can think of at least a dozen things wrong with it.
It is tiring. It is
disorientating. It takes forever to get to the airport. Aircraft are horrible. You eat much too much because you are bored. Your feet swell up. You get jet lag. You do not see your family. Then when you do see them again they are cross with you because they think you have been having a fun time and should now
pull your weight. You are shattered and see no reason why you should pull your weight at all.
From a work point of view, travel is pointless too. Meeting people and pressing the flesh may be more personal than a video conference, but being personal is not always an advantage. If you have travelled all that way to see someone you will almost certainly have to spend more time with them than you might have liked.
Being away from the office can also be dangerous, even if you are keeping in touch via BlackBerry. If you are not there, people left behind have a way of
plotting behind your back.
Yet in spite of all this, the average British executive spends 35 days a year travelling, and most say they will spend even more time doing it next year than this. So what is it all about? Partly it is a matter of status. It still makes you look and feel important to say: "I'm in Tokyo on Friday, then in Bangalore and Madrid next week." Travelling a lot makes it look as if you are working really hard too.
There is one big thing that keeps business people
orbiting the earth - and that is escape. Business travel can be an escape from home - it means you can sleep for eight hours without being disturbed by young children, and you get a break from the hard emotional
graft of family life. More important, it is an escape from the office.
High-flying executives do it not because they want to meet people, but because they want to avoid doing so. Office life has become such a dysfunctional mess of meetings and
interruptions that the best hope of a decent day's work is to be found in a metal chamber 30,000ft above the world's surface.
It is this thought that has given me a brilliant idea. It is to start a virtual airline: business travel without actually going anywhere. The passenger would book into a "flight" of whatever length they liked. They would then turn up at a
convenient, comfortable location in the city where they live. There would be no traffic jams to the airport. No check-ins.
They would quickly be shown their seat (which would be even more comfortable than first class as there would be no weight or space
restrictions). They would be
strapped into their chair, treated with great respect by a pretty hostess and given a glass of champagne. Then they would put down their table and work. They would only be allowed out of their seats to go to the toilet. They would have their
mobiles taken away when they "boarded". After that it would be proper work only. All the other chairs would be filled with
like-minded business people doing the same thing, so there would be
peer pressure to keep everyone on task.
At the end of the "flight" they would go to a video-conferencing suite to talk to whoever they needed to meet. Then they could "fly" back home, doing more work on the way back. The saving in costs would be
prodigious, as would be the saving in air fuel. There would be no jet lag, no flight delays and no chance of being blown up
mid-air.
It would be up to the traveller if they wanted to pretend for status reasons that they were really going to, say, Toyko. But I suspect were this service really to take off it could become something that its users
boasted about. "I'm on the virtual to Tokyo tonight," they would say. For the super successful, super hardworking exec, it could become the only way to fly.