Business English: Can we skip party for hated boss?

An anonymous reader wrote: Our hated senior department boss has been finally fired (without any financial pain). He thinks he leads a team of workers who will be sorry at his departure. We, on the other hand are overjoyed that he is going but uncertain how to handle his farewell ... von Lucy Kellaway, London

... especially as he will probably plan a small party. We are discussing how we can avoid speech-making, gift-giving and even a farewell card. He deserves none of the above. Advice would help.

Read what Lucy Kellaway, "agony-aunt" of the Financial Times (London), answered:

Some years ago, a colleague whom I really disliked was fired. Feeling slightly uneasy at the hypocrisy that comes so easily to me, I hunted him down and told him I was sorry to see him go and wished him the best of luck.

His habitually sour expression changed. He said I was the only person to have said a nice word to him, and we started to have a perfectly pleasant conversation. His gratitude allowed me to bask in my own generosity of spirit and conclude that I was really a nice person - and that perhaps he wasn't so bad after all.

Lucy Kellaway

How much do you hate him?

Before you consider what is appropriate in your case, ask yourself just how much you hate him. If he was an averagely hateful boss - petty, egocentric, indecisive, wimpy, paranoid - then you must play by the average farewell rules.

These decree that you turn up to the grim leaving party. You contribute to the collection and sign the card. One of you should give a speech. However, you do not need to do any of the above with enthusiasm. You can stay briefly at the party, contribute a measly amount to the collection and sign the card without comment. As for speeches, keep them short and double-edged. Say something he may take as a compliment but your colleagues will recognise as just the opposite.

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You will feel you are a finer person

You may think that he doesn't deserve even the minimum, but if you do less it may backfire on you. Even though he is horrible, he has just been fired. His morale has suffered a savage kicking (even if his pocket has escaped without a scratch), and there is little fun in kicking a man when he's down. If you cold-shoulder him as he skulks out of the building with his goods in a bin liner, I suspect any good feeling won't last. If, instead, you are slightly civil to him in his hour of humiliation, you may leave the dreaded party feeling you having made it very clear (to yourself at least) that you are a finer person than he is.

Only if he has been hateful in a truly outlandish way should you rub his nose in it. If he has been cruel and bullying, then by all means boycott the party and don't contribute to his card.

But if he were really that bad, I hope you and your colleagues have not limited your attempts at sabotage to such petty action after his reign is already over.

Aus der Financial Times, London. www.ft.com